Finally! November 19, 2010 - Disability made a decision to accept my case. I am now covered medically and can move forward with more testing and undergo necessary treatments.
As I lay here on a very cold winter night, watching the fire burn in the fireplace with total silence in the house, a calm seems to come over me. It's been a hard day of frustration and confusion that will only linger on into tomorrow. With a foot and a half of snow laying on the ground and below zero temperatures outside, physical conditions seem to be worsening by day and new conditions making their way into my life. The migraines that have been attacking are steadily getting more intense, and the swelling in my neck is now a buldge from the base of my skull to just below the bend in my neck. My head feels too heavy to keep up throughout most of the day sometimes and movement gives sharp pains and sounds of rubbing bones in my neck. Keeping objects in my hands for more than a couple of minutes at a time is starting to become a frustrating task. And now, bulging in my hip and pelvis, which causes a lot of discomfort and pain down the rest of my right side. I shouldn't complain. I am grateful to still be ok throughout everyday. I can still get out of bed, get dressed, clean house, drive to the store, etc....on my own. I am still me and I am happy with that.
Hearing the words, "It says here that you were approved....actually the approval went into the system today", brought a spark to my heart. YEE HA! Relief is on it's way, and within reach! It was a relief to simply know I was approved for help with medical expenses.
Now, after two seemingly long weeks of attempted patience and bugging the doctors office, I finally have a doctors appointment set for Monday! It has been a little while since my last visit to the Orthapedic Doctor, so new MRI's and tests are needed. Admittedly, I am anxiously waiting for this appointment as I know it will bring some relief.
I am nervous about what else we are going to find with these tests. Actually, I think I'm kind of scared. I guess it's the fear of the unknown plaguing my mind, which I am told is normal. I find comfort in prayer and faith, probably more now than before. I feel a peace in my heart when I ask for strength and courage as I move forward with these appointments, tests, and receiving the results. I have faith that My Lord will take care of me and not allow me to endure more than I can handle. Do I still get scared? Ya, I certainly do. But I have learned that when that fear sets in, or I start to feel down, I can turn to prayer for comfort. It really is an amazing and powerful feeling!
So on I go! With the help and support of my family and my friends, I have faith that this fight will become easier. With excessive fatigue and excessive sleep, I sometimes feel like I've simply given up, but I am kept in constant reminder that I am only listening to my body and giving it what it needs at this point. I have faith in my doctors that they will do everything they possibly can to address the issues properly, and help me get back on track to live more productively than I am now. I am aware that some aspects of this whole situation simply will not change, but I am praying for those aspects to be further down the road than what they seem to be today.
I give alot of thanks for the help, support, patience and understanding that surrounds me every day. I couldn't ask, or even want for more!
